


Happiness is a Drug, and I Want To Be Your Dealer

by TylerAndAlexAndCeddyOhMy



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, But they're still hockey players, Fluff, He may or may not squeeze, I'll leave that up to your imagination, M/M, Slater mentally plotting everyone's demise, Soulmates, Stammer touches Alex's butt, Stop letting me tag things, Tampa Bay Lightning, Themselves just, True Love, What else is new?, essentially, have magic, they're themselves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-13 12:45:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11760171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TylerAndAlexAndCeddyOhMy/pseuds/TylerAndAlexAndCeddyOhMy
Summary: Alex wants to find his True Love but his magic sucks so he hires someone to cast the spell for him. Instead of revealing his True Love the spell causes everyone to fall in love with him. Including an assistant produce manager at Publix.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been trying to write shorter things so I managed to keep this under 3000 words and I was so excited to post it I hardly edited it, so, sorry.

The witch had told Alex that it would only take a few days for his True Love to reveal themselves. She could tell that his Love was nearby, he already knew them, but Alex has so many close relationships the witch hadn't able to sort through them all.

Yesterday had been an off day and Alex and Andrej hadn't left the house, they'd worked out, separately. Andrej was still set on incorporating yoga into his routine.

Alex had declined his offer to teach him the ropes, opting to do some laps in the pool instead. 

This morning when they'd stopped for coffee the cute, but young, barista had given Alex his coffee and muffin on the house. Andrej was still grumbling about it as they were walking into the arena twenty minutes later.

“Maybe she was a fan,” Alex said for the sixth time.

“But not of me too?” Andrej countered, for the fifth time. “And I'm pretty sure she charged me for your stuff.”

“You can afford it, you're living in my house rent free.”

“Yeah well you can afford it too,” Andrej mumbled into his muffin. “And she was looking at you weird. It was creepy.”

“Dude she was like sixteen, I'm a very handsome man. She couldn't help it.”

Andrej snorted in return as they pushed through the doors into the locker room.

“Hey Alex!” Jake called

“Alex, how are you doing buddy?” Heddy asked, coming over to clap a hand on Alex's shoulder.

“Good,” Alex said, hesitantly as everyone else in the room turned and said their hellos to him.

“Sure guys, good to see you too,” Andrej grumbled quietly as he passed Alex on his way to his locker.

Alex was about to chirp him but he realized Heddy was softly squeezing his shoulder and thumbing at his collar bone through his threadbare t-shirt. He glanced around to see if anyone else noticed or thought it was weird.

Everyone was still looking at him, sort of expectantly, like he was supposed to do something. 

Slater was the only one who wasn't, he seemed to be trying to kill Heddy with his eyes.

Alex shook Heddy off and headed for his stall saying, “Ok, who did what to my stuff?”

There were some rumbles of outrage, mostly from the French Canadian corner so Alex knew he needed to be extra careful getting his gear on, something was surely sabotaged.

Gabe and Yanni met Alex at his stall and checked his gear over with him. Alex spent most of his time watching the other two to make sure they didn't cause any further damage.

After all his gear was thoroughly checked, Gabe had spent a strange amount of time with Alex’s jock, everything was deemed safe, Alex thanked them and sat down mumbling, “Everyone is acting really weird.”

Before Alex knew what was happening Yanni sat down in his lap. It certainly wasn't the first time he'd done it but typically he was drunk. Drunk Yanni is an insistent and weirdly strong cuddler, they'd all been subjected to cuddles before. But not in the locker room.

“Dude?” Alex asked as Yanni ran his fingers through the short hair on the back of Alex's head.

“Hmm?” was the only answer he got.

Alex looked around the room, hoping for some kind of explanation, or help. Everyone was gearing up, but still paying attention to them. 

Slater looked like he wanted to kill Yanni, which was weird because usually he was willing to kill _for_ Yanni.

“Are you drunk?” Alex finally asked when Yanni laid his head on Alex's shoulder.

“No,” Yanni said, sounding confused. “I just, want to be near you.”

“Well we can't get dressed like this,” Alex reasoned.

That seemed to bring Yanni back to himself a little. “Oh, right,” he said, hopping up and making his way back to his stall. 

Slater smirked.

Once they were on the ice Alex felt like a magnet, everyone wanted to talk to him, to congratulate him on getting a puck in an open net, praising him on mediocre stick handling. They were just warming up, he wasn't _doing_ anything.

Stammer was more hands on than usual, his praise was coming in butt and helmet pats rather than his usual stick taps to the shin pads.

The coaches were just as bad, gathering up the team to use Alex as an example for how to take faceoffs, even though he knew he didn't even crack the top five in faceoff percentages on the team. 

Alex looked around, embarrassed, expecting everyone to start laughing, especially Gabe and Tyler, but they all looked enthralled. No one looked even slightly amused except Andrej. Why were the defensemen even watching faceoff practice? Shouldn't they be running drills or something?

Once they moved on to more drills Alex wound his way through everyone to Andrej’s side. “How did you get all of them to go along with this? Is this because I drank the smoothie you made while you were in the bathroom the other day?”

Andrej held his hands up, “This wasn't me, I'm as weirded out as you are. But I am still pissed about the smoothie.”

Alex studied his face, he was pretty sure Andrej was telling the truth. “Shit. Well if you figure out what the fuck is happening tell them to stop.”

Andrej just nodded as he skated over to the other defensemen.

Slater was watching them closely and smiled once Andrej was well away from Alex.

Alex left the ice as soon as he could, almost right after Vasy, who gave him a shy smile when he came in the door.

“Do you want to get lunch?” Vasy asked.

That was, new. Not that Vasy disliked him or anything but he had his routines like any other goalie, any other player really, and on game days he went to Panera with the Russians.

Alex didn't know what was going on but whatever it was he didn't want it messing up Vasy's routine.

“I would but Su and I have errands to run, stuff for the house you know,” Alex said, hoping it would be enough to put Vasy off.

Vasy's face fell. “Oh, ok. Sure. I understand.”

Even though this seemed like some sort of sp-- aw shit. This was some sort of side effect of the Love Reveal spell. Alex still wasn't happy with the look on his goalie's face.

“Tomorrow?” Alex asked.

Vasy brightened up again. “Yes, tomorrow. I'll take you to a Russian place!” 

Alex shrugged, he didn't really care for a lot of Russian food, but if it made Vasy happy Alex would eat whatever borscht or cabbage rolls he was given. “Sounds great.”

Everyone else filed in soon after and Alex turned down twelve more invitations to lunch. Twelve! 

Andrej didn't sell him out for using him and errands as an excuse, which Alex was eternally grateful for.

It took longer than usual but they made it into Alex's car and climbed in, both sighing heavily. Andrej had literally pried Jake off of him so they could leave, and it wasn't an easy feat. Not to mention the incident in the shower with Pally. That would never ever be spoken of again. Ever. Even after Alex sorted out whatever the hell was happening.

“Thanks for having my back,” Alex sighed, putting the top down do they weren't sitting in a sauna.

“No problem. You've been putting off running errands with me for a week and you're definitely doing them now. We have no food and we've been carrying one roll of toilet paper back and forth between our bathrooms for two days.”

Alex nodded, he was more than willing to run errands if it got him away from his handsy teammates. He drove them to Publix in silence, Andrej sat and stared out the window. 

They got through their shopping with a few interruptions, fans wanting pictures, and the assistant produce manager gave Alex his phone number, for produce related questions, of course. 

 

By the time they got home Andrej was so done with the situation he was ready to murder Alex for, whatever it was that he'd done. And Andrej knew he'd done something, something probably bad. Because Andrej had Romani blood on his mother's side, his magic was much stronger than Alex’s practically nonexistent magic, and he was very sensitive to other's magic. 

Alex definitely wasn't strong enough to cast whatever spell that had been cast a couple nights before. It woke Andrej up from a dead sleep at exactly midnight, he felt the spell settle over him, it didn't feel sinister, quite the opposite actually, it was pretty pleasant, but strong.

Andrej had laid there completely still, waiting, but nothing had happened. He got up and crept to Alex's door, he still had a light on but Andrej didn't hear any noises from inside. He could sense that Alex was alone, and not actively practicing magic, but his room was definitely the source of the spell, there were traces everywhere.

Andrej tapped on the door but there was no answer so he opened it a crack and found Alex fast asleep, lying diagonally across his bed. He was in a magic coma, Andrej hadn't sensed anyone coming into or out of the house but Alex definitely didn't have enough power to expend at once to knock himself out like that. He would have to sleep it off. Sighing, Andrej had gone in and covered Alex up before returning to his own room for a sleepless night.

The next morning Alex had been up before Andrej, he'd even made them both breakfast before they went about their day. Andrej almost asked him about what had happened the night before countless times while they laid on the couch but he couldn't bring himself to do it. If Alex wanted to tell him what was up he would.

Andrej had nearly forgotten about it, when there hadn't been any sort of result from the spell, until halfway through practice when he realized why everyone was acting weird, it had to be the spell Alex cast. Though why it wasn't affecting him, Andrej had no idea but they needed to fix it quickly before something weirder that Heddy rubbing on Alex happened. 

Or before Slater straight up murdered someone.

Or before Andrej did. It was driving him crazy to see everyone throwing themselves at Alex.

Luckily it didn't seem to affect strangers quite as much as people Alex knew so no one was throwing themselves into his lap or latching on to him and refusing to let go, like the team, while they were shopping.

Once they were home Andrej started putting away the groceries while Alex started on their lunch. They'd decided stopping for lunch would be a bad idea.

Andrej was waiting for Alex to ask for his help to fix whatever magical mess this was. He knew Alex had realized at some point what was going on. Andrej almost always ended up cleaning up the team’s screwups. But Alex never did ask for help, they ate in relative silence before Alex said he was going to take a nap.

Before he could leave the room Andrej said, “We have to fix this Alex. You can't play the game like this tonight. Jake and Slater will disembowel anyone who touches you and God only knows how this will affect the Rangers.”

“I uh, don't…”

Andrej cut him off. “Don't even give me that bullshit. Tell me what you did the other night so I can fix it.” 

Alex started to deny it again but Andrej interrupted him. “The spell woke me up and I found you passed out. You really don't have a leg to stand on dude.”

Alex sighed and beckoned Andrej into the living room before flopping onto the couch. “So I hired someone to cast a spell for me,” Alex started.

“Yeah, no shit,” Andrej snorted.

“Don't be a dick,” Alex grumbled, kicking out and catching Andrej in the thigh. “Anyway the spell is supposed to help me find my True Love but I think it made people fall in love with me.”

“Those spells are really hard to do and I'm not sure you have enough base magic for someone to cast one for you.”

It was Alex's turn to snort. “Yeah, apparently. I'm going to guess that's where it went wrong. Anyway I've been texting the girl who cast it for me since practice finished and she's not answering.”

“Call her.”

“Yeah, I will now.”

Alex tried calling the witch but she sent him to voicemail.

“Is there anything you can do without her?” Alex whined.

“Not without knowing exactly what she did, did she prepare the potion here?”

Alex shook his head. “No, she came with it already made.”

Alex tried calling a few more times but was sent to voicemail again.

“Alright, that's it,” Andrej declared, standing up from where he'd been sitting on the arm of the couch. “We're just going to summon her and be done with this.”

“We can't, that's a Gyps-- oh, right. I always forget you have Gypsy blood.”

“Romani. Get up and help me move the rug,” Andrej said, dragging the coffee table to the side of the room.

As they roll up the area rug Alex said, “Dude. You made a summoning circle under my rug?”

“There's one in the shallow end of the pool too,” Andrej said with a shrug. “Don't worry it won't damage the floor.”

“It better not,” Alex grumbled.

“Shut up and get me four candles while I get some herbs,” Andrej said stalking off to the kitchen. He didn't practice his magic often, he didn't have much time but he made sure the herbs stayed stocked since his nature magic was particularly strong.

“What colors?” Alex called.

“Red, yellow, blue, green. Or all white would work,” Andrej called back.

“I don't think I have yellow, oh, nevermind here's one.”

Andrej shook his head as he finished cutting the herbs he needed. When he got back into the living room he saw that Alex had set the candles out wrong, so he fixed them.

“No, that way is north,” Alex argued, pointing behind himself.

Andrej rolled his eyes. “Where does the sun come up Alex?”

Alex gestured in the same direction he'd just claimed was north. “Right in my fucking eyes every morn… Oh.”

“Yeah.”

After that Alex was quiet while Andrej prepared the space for the ritual. When he was done Andrej held his hand out to Alex. “Can you picture her clearly?” he asked as Alex laced their fingers together. Andrej’s stomach dropped.

“Yes,” Alex nodded.

“Keep her in your mind and hang on tight,” Andrej said. Alex nodded and Andrej started his chant.

A blast of Andrej’s power radiated from the circle, even though they were outside, as he finished. The witch appeared inside, startling Alex.

He knew that summoning was a thing. A thing that Andrej could, theoretically, do. But seeing it happen was a whole different story.

“What the hell? I was in class!” the witch yelled.

“Class is not more important than the fact that you apparently screwed up my spell, Stephanie. Literally everyone is in love with me.”

The girl, Stephanie, looked guilty. “I may have, um, exaggerated my experience in these matters.”

Alex heaved a sigh and looked ready to start in on her again.

“Never mind about that, I just need to know what you did so I can fix it,” Andrej said.

“Never, never, did you just…?” Alex sputtered.

Stephanie took in their still joined hands. “The spell should have dissipated once you two realized that you were in love. That's how I wrote it.”

“What?” Alex said, dropping Andrej’s hand and making Andrej’s stomach drop at the same time. “He's not in, he doesn't love me. Like that.”

“But you love me?” Andrej asked.

Alex nodded and turned to go to his room but Andrej reached out and caught his arm. In the circle Stephanie made an excited sound.

Andrej flung his hand out towards her as she said, “Don't you dare you…”

The word asshole echoed around the living as Stephanie was sent back to where they'd summoned her from.

“Alex I love you too. I have for, a long time,” Andrej said. Alex looked skeptical. “Think about it, I was the only person unaffected. Except I wasn't, I was just already in love with you, and not prone to doing stupid shit. I was too scared to tell you because I didn't know how contract negotiations were going to go this past summer, then I only got a year and I didn't want to mess up our friendship, especially if this is going to be my last year here.”

Alex nodded in agreement. “That's exactly how I was feeling, that's why I had her cast the spell. I didn't, think this we were ever going to happen so I wanted to find my True Love, and start my life,” he had to stop for a deep breath. “I hoped it was you but at the same time I was trying not to get my hopes up.” 

Suddenly both of their phones were going off like crazy. They pulled them from their pockets and saw it was the group message with the team. Then Alex's phone started ringing.

“It's Pally,” he said, holding the phone so Andrej could see. 

Andrej took both their phones and threw them on the couch. “We're not answering that,” Andrej laughed before cupping Alex's face in his hands and leaning down for a kiss.

After a moment Alex pulled away, breathless, “Aren't we supposed to be taking pregame naps?” He didn't even give Andrej a moment to answer before pulling him towards his bedroom. 

Andrej went willingly, of course.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little epilogue to answer a couple of questions.

Alex was nervous, he hadn't answered anyone about what had caused them all to act like idiots. He and Su, Andrej, had been uh, distracted, then they'd overslept. 

He had shot a quick text off to Pally before falling asleep, saying there had been a spell gone awry and to not worry about the Shower Incident. Pally had answered with a string of Czech that Andrej refused to translate and Google translate had very little luck with. Andrej said it was because there was a lot of slang and he'd exaggerated words with extra letters.

Alex had driven like a madman to the arena, Andrej was still fussing with his hair in the passenger seat when they pulled in.

They were the last ones in the room and only had a couple minutes to spare before they were late.

The room exploded with noise the second they walked in, everyone talking over each other asking for an explanation of what had happened before they saw Alex and Andrej’s joined hands and fell quiet.

Finally Steven spoke up. “Ok you two. Out with it.” 

Alex looked to Andrej who shook his head. “Oh no babe, don't look at me. This was all you.”

Alex sighed and said, “Ok, long story short I wanted to find my True Love and the spell went wrong and everyone was in love with me.”

Slater snorted.

“But I found my True Love so, uh, it's a win?”

“You're a huge fucking idiot,” Ceddy said. “But congratulations you two.”

Everyone laughed and chimed in with their own congratulations to the new Pair and slowly the room went back to normal with everyone going about their usual warm-up routines.

Slater found Alex during a moment alone. “I wasn't in love with you today.”

“No? You looked like you were going to kill anyone who got near me all morning. You even had your murder face on and did that snarly thing with your lip.”

Slater rolled his eyes. “I was giving that look to everyone _but Andrej_.”

“Are you saying you knew he was my True Love?”

“Of course. I can read auras,” Slater shrugged.

Alex stood up so he could look him in the eye. “Seriously? You've know for what like, _years_?”

“Yeah, I- listen don't get mad at me. I found out a long long time ago that pushing Pairs together before they're ready is a disaster. You two had to grown into your True Love.”

“Fine. I guess that makes sense,” Alex said through clenched teeth. “That doesn't explain why you weren't in love with me too, though.”

“I'm not positive but I'm assuming it's because I already know who my Love is.”

“What? Who? Why haven't you done anything about it?”

Slater looked sad and shook his head. “It's not time. He isn't ready yet.”

“How do you know? You're losing all this time…”

“I can just tell. His aura just isn't right. Andrej’s has been right for a year but yours wasn't until a couple days ago. I was going to nudge you guys if you needed it but, you didn't.”

Alex wanted to hug Slater but he didn't think it would be well received right now, that was one of the few things Alex’s magic did tell him. “Well, if there's anything I can do to help.”

Slater smiled then. “You already did. When you guys announced you were a Pair his aura flickered and moved closer to where it needs to be.”

Alex’s mouth fell open. “Who?”

“You'll see,” Slater grinned before walking away.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are always appriciated!! (They super make my day)


End file.
